Splinters, Planks, Me, and Others

Strange title, right? I chose it to go along with the unusual picture that comes to my mind when I read Matthew 7:3-5, the gospel reading for this week’s “Walk This Way” reflection. In this reading, Jesus uses this imagery when teaching about judging others. He says, “How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a plank in your own eye?” 

As always, Jesus uses strong imagery to help us see the important things more clearly.  I remember hearing this passage for the first time as a child, and the visual really stuck with me. It still does to this day, being a much-needed reminder to have as much grace toward others as I’ve been given.

While I like to think of myself as a non-judgmental person, one who’s accepting of everyone, this passage forces me to ask, “Am I judging wrongly? When? How can I walk in the way of Jesus when it comes to judging?” I need to ask these questions because if I’m honest, I can’t say that I never judge others. We all do. It’s simply in our nature. So, when I read this passage, I’m gently reminded by Jesus to do what I can to combat this human flaw and extend grace to others. 

I also need to remember that this passage isn’t telling us not to be discerning. Discerning right from wrong is necessary to yield good fruit in our lives. As my pastor, Pastor Chamie Delkeskamp, said this past Sunday, He’s telling us not to condemn others in the process of this discernment. We are to give grace. She emphasized the importance of listening to others’ stories with respect and sharing our own without necessarily expecting agreement. 

In both nonfiction and fiction, story is where we can see the perspective of another and gain empathy, rather than misunderstanding that creates unfair judgment.

As a writer and reader, I love the value of others’ stories. In both nonfiction and fiction, story is where we can see the perspective of another and gain empathy, rather than misunderstanding that creates unfair judgment. I can think of many times when I’ve listened to someone’s view and after said, “Oh, that makes sense. I can now see why they feel that way,” even if I still might feel different because of my perspective. 

In my first novel, Sticks and Stones, I described several characters who had been given nicknames by others in the small town setting in which the main character, Emily, moved to when she went to live with her grandmother. All these nicknames were based on first impressions, on judgements made by others before they got to know the real person behind the nickname. Emily’s grandmother, for example, was nicknamed Crazy Carol because people saw her gathering sticks, rocks, and leaves and praying or singing while out walking. They didn’t know her story, and sadly for many of them, they missed out on getting to know a very faithful and loyal human who took in a young teen, her granddaughter Emily,  and turned the trauma from a family situation into her strength. 

While this is a fictional story, the judgment of another before knowing who they are is a reality, and it’s a reality I hope to stay cautious of and diminish in my life. 

So, how do we do this? 

I think the first step is to be aware of the fact that judging is in our nature and to pay attention to when we might be doing it. I think of Jesus’s words that I wrote about last week, where he says, “Watch yourself” from Luke 17:3-4. This same warning is in 1 Peter 5:8: “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

Next, I’d say we need to remember the imagery Jesus uses of criticizing the splinter in another’s eye when there’s a plank in our own eye, and remember that while we may not agree with someone else’s views or actions, we all have been given so much grace. I have been judged wrongly, but I have also been judged fairly when I’ve made a mistake. I am not in a position to judge. That is God’s job. He is a just God.  Isaiah 30:18 says, “The Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him.” 

Listen. This means listening to others’ views so we can actually understand them before making wrongful judgments, and also listening to God’s word on how we should treat others when tempted to judge. Micah 6:8 says, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” This verse clearly tells us what our role is, and nowhere does it say to judge others. It says quite the opposite - to act justly, to be kind, and to humble ourselves. 

I think my favorite strategy to keep myself in check when it comes to judging came from Pastor Chamie. She recommended the concept of pre-admiring instead of pre-judging. In other words, when we know we’re about to interact with someone with whom we have any sort of disagreement or discomfort, we should first think of the good things about this person. What do we like about this person? What is good? This sounds similar to the words of Philippians 4:8, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable— if anything is excellent or praiseworthy— think about such things.”

By doing these things, I hope to keep the plank, the splinter, and myself in check, so that others receive the kindness and respect God asks me to give. And when justice is needed, when obvious wrongs against God’s word are committed, I can speak up respectfully and justly, leaving the ultimate judgement in our mighty God’s hands. 

Journaling Ideas:

• Write out the verse from Matthew 7:3-5. Ask Jesus, “Where am I judging?” Wait and listen for what comes to mind. Then write about this person or situation. Ask God for his help, for him to help you see things clearly, and for him to help you have grace where needed. Ask him to help you hand over to him the things that aren’t your job to control or judge.

• Think of a person or situation that is difficult for you. List the good qualities of this person or circumstance. Write a prayer asking God to help you act with kindness and grace and thanking him for the good. 

• Write out any of the other verses listed in this blog. What are your thoughts? Write what comes to mind and what you think God is asking of you in these passages.

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